Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Getting back to me...

It's been a while..How has everyone been doing? I hope all is well!!!
Well this might be a lengthy post...Is that a word? LOL
Anyway, I wanted to talk about a couple of things that I have experienced since I had my son.
When I gave birth to my son that was the best thing that could ever happen to me in life its self!!I told myself I didn't need anything or anyone else! My life was complete! I told myself there is nothing else to achieve in life Kaden was it!!! I was so wrong!!! Now when I say that don't think I don't love my son and I am unhappy that's not the case AT ALL!!! Cause IF THE LORD NEVER DOES ANYTHING ELSE FOR ME HE'S DONE ENOUGH!!!!! YASSSSSS!!! lol
Okay back to what I was saying!!! I celebrated my 31st birthday last Friday..On that day I had a lot of time to reflect on my life and just relax.
Since I had Kaden I have really lost who I was mentally and physically. I suffered from a slight touch of postpartum. I never thought about hurting myself and I ABSOLUTELY NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT HARMING MY CHILD EVER BUT I WAS VERY DEPRESSED!!!
I was depressed to the point where I would watch a cartoon and the children on the cartoon maybe treating the other cartoon wrong and I would get upset and cry. Whatever my boyfriend  said to me I took offense to it! FOR EXAMPLE:
KORAN: Tracy would you mind cooking some tacos today?
ME: What do you mean do I mind cooking?
KORAN: IJS! I like the Tacos I was hungry would you mind cooking them
ME: You asking me would I mind cooking them like I don't ever cook like you are starving or something. What is your problem you coming at me like I am a sorry person like I don't care about you eating or nothing..
I also stopped caring about my appearance:-( I used to dress up all the time makeup,cute outfit, hair done etc.. But I started to just put whatever on a pair of leggings and a shirt and that's it. If it was a good day I would probably do the world a favor and do my hair!!  That was totally not me.
My daily concern was making sure my child was straight and not wanting for anything. I personally think nothing is wrong with putting your child needs before yours. Honestly, you have to b/c they did not ask to be in this world. A newborn depends on you for everything. I love that feeling personally!! I love it when my baby holds his arms out for me to pick him up, I love it when my son can just fall asleep in my arms I am his safe place and I have no problem being that wonderful mother to him.
I think that is the #1 problem for first time Mommies is putting your needs last and the babies needs first!(You to put the Baby's needs FIRST though Always!!)  I felt into my depression b/c I wasn't getting enough sleep, I was taking time out for myself to just sit and think, or sometimes even taking a nice hot bath. It's the small things you miss that can cause you to loose yourself.
So with all that being said I am about to start my own personal

 I need to get back in church the way I was before I had my child. I grew up in church and I know where I can turn to when I am weary and happy!! I want to be able to be more active in church and find me a good church home!!! I also want my son to have the same foundation that I had when I was growing up. I personally feel like with prayer,fasting,and studying my bible I will be able to overcome a lot of personal obstacles. I will be able to be more calm in a lot of my situations and to handle things with care and love. I promise you can tell a major difference in your life when you have strayed away from God!
#2 I am still and always going to make time for my Love bug!!!

Those are my happy moments. Kaden's smile and little kisses brighten up my day and makes me feel like everything will be OK!!!
#3 Getting my SEXY BACK!!!!
I need to start working out more and eating HEALTHY!!! I need to be fit to chase Kaden around. I also need to have more energy so I am able to enjoy the day. I have notice that when Kaden sleeps I sleep instead of me getting up sometime getting some things done around the house and enjoying a little ME time.
#4 ME TIME!!!!
I went and got the best pedicure of my LIFE on my birthday!! That was something that I really missed was taking time out to pamper myself. So even if it's me just getting a pedicure,manicure, or getting my hair done!! I will make time just for myself!!!!!
As first time parents it seems like you loose the sense of being a couple and enjoying each other. When you are first time mommy your soul purpose is to focus on what the baby needs and if the baby is OK. Sometimes we forget about those intimate moments with your significant other. On my getting back to me project I am going to set aside those specials days just for a nice dinner,movie, or even a nice game of KICKBOXING!!!! LOL


Girl time is just a time to relax leave the baby with his/her dad or a close family member that you trust and go and have a good time. This is definitely on my list I want to enjoy my time with my friends just to laugh and grab a cocktail or two. You need those moments with your friends and even family .


This is an area I struggle in and I have to do better with this if I want to "Get back to me"!! You have to be organized when you have a newborn child! Trust me it is very hard to stay organized. Let me tell you I have lost every single sock I have ever brought for my son, I have lost pacifiers and bottles! Thank God I didn't loose my son in the store or anything LOL!!!
I want to make sure everything is in place and where I can find things. If my house is organized then my day will be more organized.

So yeah that's just what I am going to start on first! I will most likely add more things to my list as I go! I will try my best to update my blog and social sites with my progress!!

Let me know if you guys have some things that you are wanting to make better in your life. The "Getting back to me" movement is something just for me but if you want to join the movement COME ON!!! It is never too late to start over and make things better in your life!!!